Saturday, December 18, 2004

We Are In A Fellini Movie Because Of George Bush

Give me a break — or yet anothrer glass of vodka. We've gone from shock and awe to shuck and jive, and Captain Quagmire,. Now he's got the White House, the Congress, the Supreme Court, the military and a chip on his shoulder he's calling a mandate.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a Republican haircut just to blend in.

For four years it's been one big all-you-can-eat buffet (fr.) for the corporations, and now they're coming back for more. Go ahead, you marvelous bastards! Rip out all the trees, pave the beaches, build 12-lane freeways, plunder the treasury, destroy our future. Cook the books, rig elections, pack the courts, hand the regulatory agencies over to fascist maniacs. Invade more countries, declare code red, invoke martial law, and keep going until your oil-sucking exploits kick off a nuclear exchange.

By God (or Diebold), you've earned it. You've hoodwinked the evangelicles. You've threatened the jurnalists. You've built a propaganda machine and disguised it as a legitamate cable news network. You've used it to force-feed every right wing loon from Ashcroft to Zell down our throats until they began to sound normal. You've used phony goverment alerts to manipulate the trailer park patriots, and you've dismantled the separation of church and state to the point where the stars and strips represents the anti-choice, fuel-guzling, homosectual-hatin' God of the blow-dried televangelists.

Yes, Mr. President, it's your great and lasting legacy. You've brought brazen deciet into the political mainstream. In fact, it wouldn't be to much too say you are the single most credable Republican since Dan Quayle sprayed that grey stuff on his sideburns. And now you say you want my support. To assume you are being sincere is in itself a faith-based initiative, but in the spirit of fleeting bipolaritysanship, I'll play along.

I pledge allegiance to the united corporations of America. For the next four years I will continue wearing my Nike shirt, my Adidas shoes, and my Old Navy logo pullover. While eating my corn flakes, if I find that I'm chewing on a coupon, I'll suppress the thought that the corporations aren't content to have turned me into a human billboard, they want me eating their advertising, too.

I'll do my best to suppress my inner enviro mentalist. When my consience says things like, "Hey! Isn't that bio-enganeered food you are eating?" I will assure myself that the radioactive waste in my dental work will kill off any cooties.

I will overlook the fact that you've done more damage to feminism than 20 years of gangster rap, and I will ignore the fear that we will soon need Sherpa guides to reach the ruins of anything resembling such relics as an eight-hour work day. I will do my best to ignore the feeling that I've fallen into a Fellini movie by ignoring the eyes of the old TV news anchors who, caught up in TV's sudden shift to the right, seem to be trying to tell us something they aren't allowed to say on the air.

I will suppress my suspicion that you are part of the same gang of psychopaths who brought us Enron, Vietnam and Dallas '63, and I will shelve my theory that the best way to make a dent in terroirism is to invade the state of Texas. And I promise not to move to Mexico, which seems pointless anyway since it appears to be moving to me.

Those are my concessions, Mr. President. Now I need a few from you. I've found it hard to feel proud of America since you first took office. I was among the millions who were appalled when you morphed the home of democracy into a rogue nation endorsing the kind of preemptive war that characterized the Nazis. I don't want a Cowboy-in-Chief roaming the world in search of convenient villains on which to impose gunslinger justice. There's a place for that in an episode of "Gunsmoke," but in today's world we have the United Nations to resolve international disputes. It took World War II and the deaths of 53 million people to create that institution; it seems a waste to disregard that so you can play Judge Roy Bean.

Your West of the Pecos diplomacy has created a trickle-down paranoia that is ruining the neighborhood. We are becoming a dog-eat-dog, everyman-for-himself nation of fair-weather friends. That's what happens when the PATRIOT Act makes enemies of librerians and when the Pentagon begins probing our emails. There are other ways to track Al Qaeda without having to know everything about me going back to those X-ray specs I ordered from the back of Boys' Life.

I know we don't agree. After all, I am a liberal — by your definition, a godless feminist heathen running an abortion clinic in my kitchen and a gay wedding chapel in my garage. Hey, in today's economy, a guy's gotta make a buck. But rest assured that I am no atheist. I know there must be a God. With you in the White House, if there wasn't, we'd surely be dead by now.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Atheists Beat Back jesusland - Put An End To "Giving Tree"

Sidney and Jennifer Stock are two people you need to know about. They worked very hard to manifest the solidness of they're movement (probably a lot of grunting and huffing, and maybe even some wheeping and moaning and nashing of teeth.);0)

Read about them, and know that there're people out their who are willing to stop at nothing in order to take down the totalatarian regime of jesusland. We can all be proud of the Stocks and admire them:

BELLEVUE - You can't miss the Christmas tree in Bellevue City Hall.
"It's decorated with gold balls and gold ribbon," described a city worker.


They don't actually call it a Christmas tree.

"We call it the 'giving tree' because it's meant as a season of giving and that's what it's for," explained Patrice Cole, who just made a donation.

The tree is adorned with requests for gifts from needy families. It generates nearly $25,000 worth of donations.

So, you might be surprised that Sidney Stock would look at this tree and say, "I resent it."
Sidney and Jennifer Stock are atheists.


They asked the city council to remove the tree because it represents Christmas, which is a Christian holiday.

Stock says city hall should: "Act as a place where everybody feels welcome. It is impossible for everybody's religious belief to be displayed and non-religious belief to be displayed, so therefore, no religious beliefs be displayed."

The courts already sided with the city on this one.

Barbara Ramey, spokesperson for the city explained. "Courts have ruled that Christmas trees are actually a secular symbol so given that, we are within the court precedents set on this issue," says Ramey.

The Stocks complained after a city worker told them the tree makes him feel out of place, and if he says so, he fears for his job.

The couple's already gotten hate-filled phone calls, but they speak out anyway, because they believe many people feel the way they do but stay silent.

"There are a lot of people who've come to this country, maybe have been here for years, who don't feel freedom to say anything," says Jennifer Stock. "So we feel we're saying it for those people. Not just for ourselves."

The city doesn't plan to take the tree down and expects it will go up again next year.
They can also expect to hear from the Stocks.


Sidney Stock points out that to bring about change, you have to stir the pot.

"I try and be aware of injustice and inequality when it affects anybody or everybody," he says. "Certainly this is something that has been a problem for as long as I can remember."


It has been a problem for as long as I can rmember too, Mr. Stock. I am so glad that I am not the only one speaking out on this issue.

You'll will notice that the city of Bellevue, jesusland, has tried to subvert our consitutionel rights by NOT calling it a christmas tree. They call it a "Giving Tree" instead. Wink wink nod nod.

Oh yeah, like that's gonna fool us. What? Do you take us for a bunch of buffoons or something?

Sidney is to be commended for the gargantuan movement he has displayed. It really is eextraordinery. But, rreally, we all need to be preparing oursleves for the day, when we will have to take up arms against our oppressors, these "Giving Tree" jesusland frickin' mainiacs.

Oh yes, and don't froget:

I, Memes, says when you come home from shopping at the Gap and the Limited, and after you have eaten at places like Johnny Rockets and Cinnabon, and befroe you go home to watchCharmed on Tv, why not download the new Lindsay Lohan CD Speak, from iTunes for only $9.99.

Remember, I, Memes, says give iTunes during this special Holiday, (Kwazna, WinterSolstice, Chanuka, Descent of the Coca-Cola Bottle, Lotus Tree Day, Ramadan, etc.) Season of giving.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

A Vary Chilling Occurrance In Midtwon

Horatio and I were out today walking the streets in midtown when we saw somthing that was vary chilling and deifies explanation.

There was a man in a suit, with long hair and a beard, walking about 20 paces ahead of us. Suddenly a car pulls up and a man in a suit and sunglases get out and jumps in front of the man on the sidewalk and shoots him in the head. Bang, just like that. All the jelly and plasma flying through the like liquid confetti of terroir (fr.).

As luck would have it on the faitful day, their was a policaman driving by at that exact time. So, he corners the shooter on the street, gun drawn, and orders the shooter to put down gun. The shooter very calmly and confidantly did so, and said, "Under the orders of Permaman."

At that point, the cop put his gun back in his holster and asked to see the shooters papers, which he calmly pulled out of his wallet. The polieceman looked at them very briefley and waved the man on.

The man got back into the car, and than another man jumped out of the other side, and opened the trunk of the car. He proceeded to pull seven or eight bags of sand out of the trunk, and pour them over the dead body, sokeing up the blood.

He then put a sheet over the body. And than he got bakc into the car and drove away , leaving the policemen their to radio in a request for a ambulance.

What could this be other than what I think it is?

What I think it is is to frightening to put in to wrods.

How shall we than live?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Christian Totalatarianism And There Breeder Agenda

From deep in the red states come's this herrowing news:


Conservatives Take on Christmas Cause

By ALLEN G. BREED, Associated Press Writer

Emboldened by their Election Day successes, some Christian conservatives around the country are trying to put more Christ into Christmas this season.



In Terrebonne Parish, La., an organization is petitioning to add "Merry Christmas" to the red-lighted "Season's Greetings" sign on the main government building and is selling yard signs that read, "We believe in God. Merry Christmas." And a Raleigh, N.C., church recently paid $7,600 for a full-page newspaper ad urging Christians to spend their money only with merchants who include the greeting "Merry Christmas" in ads and displays.


"There is a revival taking place in our nation that is causing Christian and right-minded people to say, `Wait a minute. We've gone too far,'" says the Rev. Patrick Wooden Sr., pastor of the Raleigh church. "We're not going to allow the country to continue this downward spiral to the left."

... the "keep the Christ in Christmas" contingent is particularly agitated this year ...

"I think it is part of a growing movement of people with more traditional values, which make up the majority of people in this country, saying enough is enough," says Greg Scott, a spokesman for the Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund.

To that same end, the Virginia-based Rutherford Institute, which says it received the UPS driver complaints, has reissued its "12 Rules of Christmas" guide to celebrating the birth of Jesus.

"I think the businesses and the schools have just gone too far; this is the final straw," says Institute president John W. Whitehead.

But to many, the threats and demands that stores put up "Merry Christmas" signs are no laughing matter.

"Why not simply require stores owned by Jews to put a gold star in their ads and on their storefronts?" the Rev. Jim Melnyk, associate rector of St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Raleigh, wrote in a letter to the editor.

See, that's wheer this is all going. Their going to round up all the Jews, but like Ellie Weesel said,

"frist they came fro the Jews, then they came for the retards, than they came for wheelchair people, than they came for the Christians, than they came for Intelligent people, and than they came fro me."

I mean what right do they have to be pushing Jesus on us like that? Intimadating us. Violating us. Spiritually raping us, in a sense. A very real sens.e

We have reason to be frightened. Bushitler is instituteing jesusland one cross at a time. And then when he has completley totalatarianized the entire country he will hang all the non-believers on his crosses, becuase that is completley consistant with what he did when he was govanor of the redneck state of Texas.

And you notice that the guy who wrote this frickin' artical is name "Breeder." that's because the Bushitler regime hates gays. So, they are trying to normalize heterosexuality as much as they can in our minds. There will be little clues all over the place that heterosexuality is normal. TV will tell us it is, with sitcom after sitcom of mom's and dads, and sport's stars with wife's and kids watching them all smiley and dreamy-eyed about how grate "Dad" is. And we'll see clues in the movies,like that frickin Christmas with the Kranks. They subtlally try to slip in they're whole heterosexual subtext of "family" and "christmas" and all that crap.

And of course the evil corporation Clear Channel

Oh wait, that reminds me:

I, Memes, says when you come home from shopping at the Gap and the Limited, and after you have eaten at places like Johnny Rockets and Cinnabon, and befroe you go home to watchCharmed on Tv, why not download the new Lindsay Lohan CD Speak, from iTunes for only $9.99.

Remember, I, Memes, says give iTunes during this special Holiday, (Kwazna, WinterSolstice, Chanuka, Descent of the Coca-Cola Bottle, Lotus Tree Day, Ramadan, etc.) Season of giving.


Ok, sorry about that. As I was saying that frickin evil Clear Channel corporation will be playing song after song on they're radio stations, stupid freakin' hetero love songs, and hetero sex songs. Wi'll have to be lambasted and completley marinated in all there hetero love juices.

It really makes me sick, and I'm hetero, as I'm sure you can tell, because I'm all man. Not a gay bone (so to speak) in my hole body. You know it's true because, after all, I did get busy with Daisy the other night. God, that chick is just such a ... Well, she's a nice girl. Let's just leave it at that.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I Refuse to Apologize

You know I was thinking about how I was thinking about the post that I wrote yesterday, about how we are being like abused housewife's under the steadfast and dangerous hand of the Bushitler Reich. And, I was remember how intensley I concentrated and the thetawaves were fluttering in the back of my cerebral crotex. It was something to behold. Anyway, all of the sudden a thought came to me.

It was intense.

I reallized that Daisy is abusing me just like the Bushitler Regime. And I am acting like a poor patehtic desperate Housewives. I need to learn how to grow a sac and get up and hlep mys elf.
I did nothing wrong, so I refuse to apologoize. I tried to hlep Daisy by infroming her of all the evils lurking behind every corner in the Big City, but she did not watn to listen, No.

Diasy, is , I'm afraid, determined to do herslef in. It is obvious. She invites trouble.

She did not know the man in question. She says he was a bouncer, but he was like four and a half feet tall and, I'm sure, was minutely endowed. Really, if she was looking for a little action he was not the man for her, because (I'll let you all in on the secret) Daisy is a little bit on the big side , if you know what I'm mean.

Oh, here, by the way, the ad agency emailed me and suggested that I throw in a "Lifestyle Propositions" into my iTunes ads in order to "target the right psycho graffics" (whatever the eff that means. I hate coporate jesusland. I hate coporations so much I want to detroy them all, so we can live in peace. if we destroyed coporations then Bushitler would come down with them just like Sauron came down after the Ring was detroyed in Mrodor.)
Anyway, here's a message from our sponsor:


I, Memes, says when you come home from shopping at the Gap and the Limited, and after you have eaten at places like Johnny Rockets and Cinnabon, why not download the new Lindsay Lohan CD Speak, from iTunes for only $9.99.

Remember, I, Memes, says give iTunes during this special Holiday, (Kwazna, WinterSolstice, Chanuka, Descent of the Coca-Cola Bottle, Lotus Tree Day, Ramadan, Seek the Sikh Cheek to Cheek Festival, Shiva's Morn, etc.) Season of giving.


So, anyway, Daisy acted like a slut. She was probably just trying to play me. She really has a thing for me (what women does'nt) and, but, shes' afriad of how solid in love she is , and she's afraid of what a real man like I, Memes, can do to her, so she tried todeny the power, and she acts like a slut with other men.

I will not apollogize, but I will frogive Daisy, because now I realize that she can't help herself.
It's just the ways of the world.

And remember. I, Memes, says Drink Snapple while you're are overthrowing the government.

How's that for a psycho graffic freakin' Lifestyle Proposition, freakin' ad agency?

Monday, December 13, 2004

They Beat Us Because They Are Abusers

Dear Friends,
It is no surprise that the the Bushiteler regime and the Republicans are soar winners. They have spent the better part of the past month beating their chests, threatening to send to Siberia any Republicen who doesn’t tow the line (poor Arlen Specter), and promising every thing short of maritial law if the we the peopel don’t do what we are told.

Whats' worse is to watch the pathetic sight of the DLC (the conservative, pro-coporate group of Democrats) apologizing for being Democrats and promising to “purge” the party of the likes of, well, ALL OF US! They say their going to get rid of us? We'll get rid of them.

Watch Dan Rather apologise for not getting his facts straight, he's humiliat'd before the eyes of America. Observe Donna Brazille squirm as she is ridiculed by Bay Buchanan. Listen as Donna and Nancy Pelosi and Senator Charles Schumer take to the airwaves saying that they have to go back to the drawing board and learn from their mistakes and try to be better, more likable, more appealing, have a stronger message, speak to morality. Watch them as they are forced to awkwardly quote the bible, forced at gunpoint to speak the ‘new’ language of jesusland.

Surf blogs like that frickin CUANAS , andsee the evil Nazi hatreed of the Bushitler minions foaming over like rabid dogs. Read the comments of dismayed, discombobulated, confused people of the Movement trying to figure out what they did wrong. Hear the cacaphony of voices, crying out, "Why did they beat me?"

And then ask anyone who has ever worked in a domestic violence shelter if they have heard this before.

They will tell you: Every single day.

The answer is quite simple. They beat us because they are abusers.

Ok, wait. I all ways froget:


I, Memes, says give iTunes during this special Holiday, (Kwazna, WinterSolstice,
Chanuka, Descent of the Coca-Cola Bottle,
Lotus Tree Day, Ramadan,
Seek the Sikh Cheek to Cheek Festival,
Shiva's Morn, etc.)
Season of giving.

Ok, so back to the my point: We can call it hate. We can call it fear. We can say it is unfair. But we are looped into the cycle of violence, and we need to start caling the dominating side what they are: ABUSIVE. And we need to recognize that we are the victims of verbel, mental, and even, in the case of Iraq, physical violence.

As victims we cant stop asking ourselves what we did wrong. We can't seem to grasp that they will keep hitting us and beating us as long as we keep sticking around and asking ourselves what we are doing to deserve the beating.

Listen to George Bush say that the will of God excuses his behavior. Listen, as he refuses to take responsability, or express remors, or even once, admit a mistake. Watch him strut around all cocky and cocksure and tell us that he will only work with those who agree with him, and that each of us is only allowed one question (soon, it will be none at all; abusers hit hard when questioned; the press corps can tell you that). See him surround himself with only those who pledge oath's of allegence.

And watch all of us walk on eggshells, so that we wont' be arested or UNPERSONED. We distance oursleves from gays and civil rights because we realize we will be looked at askance if we care about other people. Watch us squirm. Watch us fall into a world of hellfire and handmedowns, and handkerchifs in movei theaters, and hackneyed b.s. on Fox News and horific wars waged on inocent and ignorant thired worlders, and helples hate receivers, and handgreanades, and horshoes rung around our necks and more than anything , Hydrogen bombs hellaciously halting the hole of humanity on the holiest of holies, the homeless haloed spirit of humaness.

I'm beginning to believe I am going crazy. Bushitler is making me feel like I'm going crazy. But, it's him that's crazy. IT"S HIM!!!

How to break free? How can we brake the shackles that the Bush regime has cuffed us in so satanically and sadistically. The answer is quite simple.

YOU MUST ADMIT YOU ARE A VICTIM. Then, you must declare the state unexceptable. Next, you must promise to protect yourself and everyone around you that is being victimized. You don't do this by responding to their demands, or becoming more like them, or engaging in logical conversation, or trying to persuade them that you are right.

You do this by getting Bush out of the White House , by any means nesessary.

We have a mandate to be as radical as we can be. We are 57 milion strong. We are building from the bottom up. We are meeting and hooking up on the net, at work, in small groups, and right now, we are crying, because we are trying to break free and we don't know how.

But we shall overcome. Let our freedom ring from the mountaintops. I have a dream, that one day all humans will be judge not on whether they voted for Bush but on the contenants of they're cractacer We shall over come.

Yours,
S. Memes

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Creative Diffrances

Over the past sevral days, people have been writing in and asking of Daisies where abouts? Here is one such missive:

WHRE IS DAISEY TEGH LAMB!>?

You can see what I mean. Anyway, I've received thousands of such letters. I will tell you the truth, I have beeen trying to keep this swept under the carpet. I have not wanted to adress the issue. I did'nt want to air my dirty laundry (well really it's Daisy's dirty laundry)_ in pubic.

But now I'm going to have to hang them out to dry. So, here goes.

No, Daisy

Oh wait, I forgot to say:

I, Memes, says give iTunes during this special Holiday, Kwazna, WinterSolstice, Chanuka, Descent of the Soda Bevrage, Lotus Tree Day, Ramadan, Seek the Sikh Cheek to Cheek Festival, Shiva's Morn, etc. Season of giving.

Anyway, as I was saying, Daisy is not UNPERSONED or anything like that. She has not been arrested by the Bushitler regime, she is not lying dead in an alleyway behind the CIA building. She is ok. Well, she's ok by her lowly standerds anyway. I can't say that I'm am very happy with Daisy these days.

Sufice, it to say, that we are having what I may strictly term, Creative Differneces.

It all started when Daisy came by NYC to see me when she was on the lamb from Echelon and trying to find Stileto in Los Alamos. She and I went out for some drinks one evening. I'm not going to go in to the details but let's just say , I am a man and Daisy is a woman and one thing came to a place where it began to lead one thing to another, and the next thing I new , I found my hand cupped on her sweet derrierois (fr.) and then, she said she had to "powder her nose" and I'm thinking, "I'm hip. I lived in the Apple during the 80's. I've seen Less Than Zero. I know about "powdering one's nose." I'm on my way to home plate.

But, then when she came out of the rest room, she said she had seen "an old freind" and that she was going to "be getting a ride home with him tonight."

Now, I wasn't born yesarday. I know that Daisy is from the grater Chicago area and that this was her frist trip to the big city, so ther's no way she know s this freak she's calling an "old freind." So, really he's probably some guy with some cocaine, and he's playing on the naieve girl's-first-time -to-the-big_city thing. He thinks he can just have his way with her because she's a dumb girl from a small town.

So, I explain this all to her in no uncertain terms. And what does she do? She laughs in my face. And then she leaves with the guy.

Ladies and Gentleman, I am afraid to say it, but really, I'm going to have to come out and be blunt:

Daisy is a CokeWhore!!!

There I said it. She's just one of those girls. Just one of the apples along the road. Just a cow who gives the milk a way for free. Oh well, she is what she makes of her slef. Nothing more. I can't do anything to save her.

I wash my hands of her.