Friday, January 14, 2005

Blog Phooey

As a committed web journalist who has and maintains his own website (Screaming Memes , you're looking at it) on a daily (well, almost daily, sorry) basis, I feel that I must voice my urgent concern about the rising tide of the blogosphere.

Who are these bloggers? And why are they blogging at us all the time? Where do they live and what are they wearing, for god's sake?

The problem with blogs is that anyone can have a blog. Blogs are just voices in the wildnerness. Voice upon voice all shouting into the wind, "Here I am, and here's what I think."

Who cares what you think you blogging brood of blowhard bumpkins?

You know what it is of which that I am suspicious? I suspect that these "bloggers" are all out there shouting their stray and random opinions so that they can shut down my free speech. Our Free Speech.

I mean everything they say is just contradictory. We say Bush is Hitler, or the Iraq War is illegal, or that the Rather Memos were legitamite, and the blogosfear roars with condemnation saying the facts don't support the conclusion.

What facts? Where are these facts? And who owns the facts anyway? Somehow, these bloggers have gotten into their heads that they alone know where the "facts" are, as if they could just take us down to a downtown corner and point and say, "Look, there it is, the "fact". That's the one I've been telling you about.

That is just so lacking in sophistication, and nuance, and, dare I say it, it's just so fucking stupid.

The problem with blogs is that they have the trappings of academia and journalism with none of the checks and balances, none of the accreditation. Where have you ever seen a blogger who had earned tenure, or a blogger who had put in 30 years behind an anchor desk? No, these bloggers just pop up out of no where like mushrooms of media and they just spew and spew.

And, of course, with academic writing (of which I, Memes, has done not a little bit) there are footnotes to support the facts and assertions. What do bloggers have? No footnotes, that's for sure. All they have is "links". Link to what? Is that the freaking "missing link" the stupid reuputzi idiots have been harping about all these years?

Hey blogger, link to this. (I, Memes, grabs monstrous crotch)

And, in journalism, writers interview a person, or get the interview off the Reuters wire. But, what do bloggers do, they cut and paste, cut and paste, cut and paste. No facts, just a windows generated document posted on their "blog". Really not much of anything at all, when you think about it. Just 0's and 1's lost in a server somewhere.

Instead of thinking that these "bloggers" have any legitamacy, we should be warned, all these people are simply rabble with a computer. They are Macintosh media moguls. They're Windows-generated word slingers. The're the cutting correspondents. The Paparazi of pasting.

We real journalists must rise up and destroy this rabble. This great unwashed waste of server space. The bungled and the botched broadcasters of blogdom.

I, Memes, says, "Blogs? Phooey!"


Blogger silvsta said...

Eye love crotch-grabbing self-ref-and-def-ferential humor. Know facts nececcary! Ha ha.

4:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...shouting their stray and random opinions so that they can shut down my free speech. Our Free Speech."



*[squishing our free again!!!]

6:27 PM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Dear Kosisok,

Thank you for infroming me of the handy acronym. Now, that you let me in on that, I have to wonder if that's what Daisy was getting at when he sent me the following email a few weeks ago,

Dear Memes,
You are Sofa King We Todd Did!

Maliciously Yours,
Daisy the Lamb

Do you think she was trying to tell me something?


Screaming Memes

7:05 PM  
Blogger 2Hotel9 said...

Hey, bro. Are you for real? And if so, where are you getting your drugs, cause I want some! Anything that gets you this detached from reality and still able to type is GOOD stuff. I wants me some!

7:40 PM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Dear Hotel #9,
All's I can say, is, thank you very much for you're admiration.

Screaming Memes

7:48 PM  

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