Friday, January 07, 2005

A Apology To Dasiy

I had a bit of a break down last night. I don't want to go into it all, because it's a bit imbarassing. It happens to me evry once in a while. It's prat of my creative/artisitic nature. I am not always the calm, collected rational person that you see here on this blog day after day.

Anyway, the upshot is that Ngude, Horatio and Biff had to talk me threw it.

They sat me down and said, "You know Memes, you have a problem." And, of course, I insisted that I do not. And I kept insisting until Horatio started slapping me, like a girl. Like a little sissy,convulsing-with-sobs, wearing-a-pink-dress-with-a-ribbon-in-her-hair girl. It was humiliating.

But , good has come from it, because now I know that I do have a problem. and I am here to admit it.

So, here goes,

I, Memes, has a sexual addiction.

But, this is no ordinary sexual addiction. Oh no. It's ... Oh wait, I almost forgot.

I, Memes, say don't froget to drink Snapple while you're overthrowing the Goverment!!!

So, anyway, what I was getting at is my sexual additiction is not your normal sex addiction. It's not that I can't go without sex, because truth be told , incresingly, as i get older

Well, I don't really want to talk about it, but you know how a camel can go without drinking water for a long time, well, I, you know...

So, here's what my peculiar addiction consists of. I, Memes, is addicted to looking at young ladies. I just can't keep my eyes off the 21 and 22 year olds. I know it seems strange that I would be like this. I know it is wrong. I know now that it is a sickness. I know that I am in the throws of a ball-and-chain like addiction. I know, and am ready to admit, that I need hlep.

Ngude in particular, was helpful in me coming to my realizationinsists that I should not be such. For Ngude, when he was attedning San Francisco City College (studying to be a Master Talking Drum Player, and also getting his credential as a surrogate sex partner with an emphasis on homosexual relationships) took several classes dealing with learning the paramaters of male/female relationships. He said that in one class, called Mutual Respect 200, they learned the procdures and techniques required for the toning down of the evil nature of the male libido.

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, the whole world has been moving forward without me. what were once considered generally exceptable Male/female pattrens of behavior, are no longer deemed appropriate. Fro instance, apparently (this is all knew to me) , the little attempt I made at a clandestine tryst with Daisy, is not deemed appropriate behavior.

I am chaseand and imbarassed. What can I say?

so, let me just say this. Daisy, I am vary sorry about my inappropriate behavior. I now realize that I am old (53) by you're standards, and that young ladies such as yourslef consider it visual molestation to be oogled by men of my advanced age, or any man who is not of a appropriatly good-looking nature.

I am truly sorry. I hope you will except my apology and return to our movement soon.

6 Comments:

Blogger notmemes said...

mims I fell that your problim is bushiter in nature. that is too say, you are identifying with bush's phalosintric , agrisive , masho nature, not with swet rhytms of nature, swaying of trees (old growith), moviement of sea in the ocean (no oil), that sort of thing.

With bush its drive drive drive. rape rape rape. even you, Memes, hero to all, is infected by this contagon.

but its becuase you are artist, poet. and you can deinfect yourself, posibly with ngude's help.

3:17 AM  
Blogger EvilPundit said...

How can they say oogling is wrong? Every man has a right to oogle!

4:35 AM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Dear Not Memes,
Thanks you for you're kind wrods of incouragement. From the bottom of my heatr.

I understand exactly what you are meaning. I feel like Frodo in The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, when he says that he has frogotten the taste of bread. He can't remember the fragrence of strrawberries.

I , niether, can remember the smell of the swaying of palm trees, or the rhythms of the ocean.

I will endeavor to return to a state of health. And I look froward to appreciating these wonderful delights of nature once again.

Sinsdearly,
Screaming Memes

P.S. How are you dong with you're movement? I hope everything''s going well for you?

5:28 AM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Hi Evil,
How are you? How's the weather over their in Englands? Miserable I would guess? Am I right?

Anyway, to get to the point, with haste, whilst making sure not to dab upon it too fine a point, in case the occasion should arise that a gentleman would be delduded, and become confused, into possibly believing that I, Memes, have something gradniose to add to such an argument, all the whilst taking into consideration that I, certainly could, and should, be understood to be a, potential, contributor of my own, proverbial, two cents, it would be the height of wisdom if you would at least entertain the notion, or make a stab at fathoming and, in so doing, perhaps, compartmentalize these thoughts, which I set before you, with such precision, so that you may, with the exquisite distinction of which I know you are capable, mine a componenet (fr.)of wisdom, from the midst of my tolerably comprehensible, and elagantly set froth, logic.

What I am trying to say, my brother, is that up until two days ago, I was also labroing under the same misapprehension as you.

I thought it was ok to oogle, but Ngude set me straight, with the somehwat violent help of Horatio, and the keen persuasive skills of my fine lawyer, Biff.

It is a crushing blow to come to realize that one has been so wrong for so long.

Women hate it when you look at them, when they don't want you to look at them. We must all understand that.

They may be walking through the mall, wearing nothing but a butt-floss bikini and high-heals, but (their sure are a lot of "but's" in this sentance. I wonder if it's Freudian. I need to vigilant as to my condition at all times) if you are unattractive to them, they do not want you to look.

Do you understand? If you are ugly, or old, or poorly dressed, or of another class, than don't oogle. No oogling allowed.

As I am, or have become, apparently, without my knowledge, all these things to Daisy, I am, therefore, not allowed to think of her in a sexual nature.

Additionally, it seems that men of my age (53 years old) are not allowed to look at, or even think about, women under the age of 37 years old.

Now, this is something that I simply did not know.

I'm guessing that from hear on out, I will simply stop thinking about woman at all, because to tell you the turth, I don't like woman 37 and older, period. (not freudian)

I think you probably understand what I mean?

Screaming Memes

5:57 AM  
Blogger notmemes said...

Mimes that was rely a beautifil post, only problem is it wasn't in French! You are in grate line of grate fr. thinkers Derriereda, Foecult, and Marx brothers.

4:42 AM  
Blogger notmemes said...

and think you for enquiry into my movement (bowel), going good, everything coming out fine.

4:43 AM  

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