Saturday, February 12, 2005

The UNPERSONING of Eason Jordan - A Return to Modernism Is Nesassary

Eason Jordan was a man off bravery and nobility. He rightly so, accuesd the jesusland milatary of assassanating journalistes, and then the bloggers have just willy nilly distroyed his credability. But that wasn't enough for the manicheanism of the blogger' s. No. They had to cause him to disappear alltogether. He has been UNPERSONED just as surely as Ronald Reagun, and Ollie North GHW Bush did to the the good children of Nicaraugua.

You will notice that there were no press conferences called. There were no interviews with Barbara Walters or 60 Minutes. There were no NPR reports, when it came to the Eason Jordan. Just a press release under extreme duress, emitted by a cowed CNN.

The reason their were no interviews with Mr. Jordan is because he doesn't exist anymore. In fact if you look him up on Google you will not be able to find any credible infromation on his Person. He is gone. Disappeared. Persona non grate. Finis. Vanished.

How could this have happened? He was a promanant individual. He was the CEO of CNN. The answer is George Bushstain's evil legion. The Bloggers. The Hounds of Hell, baying at the moon, their malevolent carnivorous incantation of crap. The Reichrabble of righteous, ramroding, rightwingers. Bushstain has somehow brought these people under his absolute control. There is not a dissenting voice among all of them. The evadence for what I am saying is because they always disagree with the reality presented in the Main Stream Media. How could they always disagree with reality unless they were under some sort of control?

The bloggers are out-of-control. It does not serve the interests of the people to have this cacaphonous crowd of crisis-inducing democracy crackheads tirelessly giving us their pajama clad opinions. We need to do something about these bloggers. I propose a sort of licensing process.

Fro instance my Internet Magazine (Screaming is liscensed and given authority to speak my opinion by an official political entity called the Bureau of Assymetrical Democrisy. BAD works to insure the voices of the weak minorities and underrepresented are given power through the applacation of assymetrical systemi within the "Democractic" construct.

BAD has a subsidiary which has interests in the licensing of the Internet waves to insure that only accredated voices are heard. This organization is called the General Accredadation Service. The office of BADGAS issued my license to me (it just so happens) on the day after Bushitler restole the electoral process.

So my voice has the right to speak and be herd, and I have been granted legitamacy. The evil thing about the Blogs is that they are the illegitamate spawn of the slovenly slew of the slime-slinging swarm; the masses of mindless swinish scum,. The undesirables. The vermin. The Just Anybody.

We can not allow this.

Now, I want you to think about something. Even though it is we, the Intellagentsia who have ushered in the consept of Postmodernism, it has backfired on us. We declared the Reader to be the Author, and the Author to be the Reader. We believed that we would be able to undermine the underpinnings of the Capatalast Construct through the relentless deconstruction of the authority of text (ie Histroy ). But it has not worked out the way we thought it would.

Instead we find that we have empowered the rabble. They took us seriously and believed that, as Reader, they could be Author. And the evil tentacles of the American Online Systme has empowered them with the tool of the blogosphere.

Now, instead of sitting on the couch in their skivvies, scratching themselves, drinking beer and belching out curses at the Authority of the Anchormen, now they are giving there opinion. And what's more evil is, people are listening to them. They are distroying all that was "good" and "holy" about the world.

I'm going to propose something that's gonna sound a little crazy at first. (I know I know your thinking, "Comeon Meme,s, we would never think you we're crazy), but here it is anyway:

I say we need a return to the prePostmodern. We need to return to the Modernism Construct.

If you think about it the consept of Modernism wasn't so bad. Big monolithic syscrapers installed in the center of town to house the poor. Hierarchical bureaurcracies. Three-part forms. CBS/ABC/NBC. The American Library Association. The DMV.

What do all these things have in common? The answer is Authority.

There is a wisdom in Authority. Do you understand what I'm getting at? When their is Authority, then the ravenous rabble can't run ruffshod over the runes of civilazation.

Yes, I think we need to return to a Modernist Construct. I will be meeting with the Chief of the Intellagentsia first thing tomorrow morning to put register my porposed legaslation. I am enlisting you're hlep and suggestions. (Keep in mind, all suggestions will be run befroe a Board of Trussees befroe they are granted the right to be reviewed)

Also, please sign my petition (located in the comments section) if you support my idea.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, certainly, with utmost certainty, agree, however, I digress, I would like to register my, heretofore, unexpressed, disagreement, while at the same time, acknowledging my, expressed, admiration, with you're, alleged, assertion that, there is a, "supposed", "necessity", for a return to Modernism, as opposed to a "going froward" towards a, presumably, better future, a "Post" postmodernism, if you will.

I submit this fro you're approval, or disapproval, as you, possibly, analyze, and, fortuately, accept, or, not-so-fortunately, stand in disacceptance, of said, media.

9:16 PM  

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