Friday, November 19, 2004

Dispatchi From The Front

We have recieveid various dispatchi from our commentors. Two of these dispatchi were particulerly herrowing , so I find I must take it up on myself, to share them with you, the reader.

Here, our senior commentater, Moses Gumn, tells us his acount of what happened to him on the day Heir Bush re-stoled the electoral process:

Dispatch cc2-36I:

Hi everyone! I am Moses Gunn.You may call me Moses, or Moses G. (my Dj monniker)*******

i geuss now's also a good time to relate that my vote was surpressedlast week ....

an old friend (Dr. Bongmeister-Eckhart, not his real name, with two dots over the e, can you put that mark in comments?)brought over the new Devin the Dude CD (CompactDisc) andsome of his *ahem* supplies on Election day. 1pm to 9pm just flew by.....(also watched Donnie Darko twice.)

I went to the Thomas Dewey MiddleSchool at around 10:00pm to pull the level but there was no one there. I was looking outside around the gym (locked, Ralphs card couldn't open) I was stopped by a 'security guard' who asked waht I was doing there. I explained the situation as best as i could (scared, was he a 'private sector'Halliburton guard trying to surpress my vote? or what?, I left out the partabout Dr. Bongmeister-Eckhart, but not Donnie Darko. )

The 'guard' didn't really understand the ending (of Donnie Darko) but hedid tell me (in a strange polite way) that the voting stopped hours ago. I asked him for a provisonal ballot (I know my rights!) He just smirkedand told me go home. He was kinda fingering his baton as he sighed,so i just felt i had to get out of there. In my panic I didn't get his nameor badge number. did anyone else have that kind of hasssle with the man?

You can, I am sure, see what I mean by herrowing. The shear malace and contemt with which the policeman treated Mr. Gunn shows just how much power the Nazi jesusland regime has all ready yousurped. They would not behave in such a brazen manner, if they were not so sure of the position of control.

Here, from the land of Odenwalk, Austolopithecanthropus, share his Kafkaian experiances. Some of this dispatch seams to be in code:

Dispatch 5zs-c8T1:

I am writing this from the Odenwald. I can't tell if those guys in leathercoats are Germans or Americans. Those black helicopters look the same as the ones over
Cumberland. But I feel very safe here. The very tolerant Dutch all of a sudden are burning mosques and are attacking Moslems. But we don't live near the Dutch border. We mostly keep to ourselves and try not to offend the Germans with our American accents. I will continue to monitor your website for going ons in Jesusland. This will influence our decision when and if we shall return. Maybe we settle somewhere around the Mediterranean. We love it around Livorno.

I'm not sure what that means, but the part about the black helacopters brings home just how far Bushes regime has cast its tentacles. Can any body help me with translatoin of this coded dispatch?


Blogger Austropithecanthropus said...

I more and more share your anguish. This is one reason we left and settled in the Odenwald. Zogby is one of the most accurate pollsters. So, when on election day his exit polls were really way off compared to the final tally, I did start to wonder. Increasingly it looks like Karl Rove, the master of raw sewage, who would accuse his mother of pedophilia if it could get him one more vote, did, indeed, steal the election. If that ever turns out to be incontrovertible fact, Jesusland will surely be plowed under. So, we have decided to put off our return for an indefinite period of time. Now Christine, the best wife ever, is afraid Livorno maybe not be far enough south, she thinks a black car is following her, and is thinking of moving to La Maddalena at the Costa Smeralda; Which is really beautiful, too. But, I do miss the green hills of Western Maryland. Will I ever see them again?

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In all probability they will come begging for us to return in a few years once the collapse is complete; who will teach their deconstuction classes, perform their sensitivity-training workshops, prod them towards higher aesthetic purpose sans the educated diaspora-in-becoming now rushing to exile in Europe?

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well spoken. Personally, I think we should create our own independent country. Something small. Some cinemas with moore reruns, a small army (for peacekeeping). Kerry will (still) rule!

10:16 AM  
Blogger Stan said...

Kerry can invest his $15,000,000.00 in the new country. In Kerry Bucks.

Did you hear that just yesterday a squad of Mounties-for-Bush stormed a Mosque just south of Vancouver, during prayers, and killed three Moslem hardliners. Then they arrested all the injured Al Zarkawi fighters. Nobody knows what happened to them. By the time some reporters got there, the doors were open and there were only two cats wandering around inside. When the reporters approached them, they put their tails up.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Stan said...

What got Bush elected was that 'American terrorist' and his video just two weeks before the election. Bush's stats went up right after that and stayed up through the election. Who was this guy? Probably working for the Bush Re-election Committee. See

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That sounds reasonable enough. I bet bin Laden voted Bush somehow!

6:23 PM  
Blogger Stan said...

He went to an American command post and voted with the other soldiers.

8:11 PM  

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