Thursday, November 11, 2004

A Convenient Death

They killed Arafat.

I am very emotional now. I have not been out of the house in over a day. I think I cited that nice lady who threatedned me the other day. And I relly did not feel like having a confrontation with her, so I decided to stay in and invite Horatio and a few others guys over to watch the new DVD of Farhenheit 911.

When the DVD was over we turned on the news to find that Arafat has been killed. No one seemd to know the cause of death. Or at least thats what they say.

The truth is probably that George Bush has had him killed. Think about it. George Bush put something like 1000 "murderers" to death in Texas, and you know he thinks that Arafat was a murdereer so why wouldn't he have had Arafat killed? It's the Texas way. As they say in Texas, "he needed killin'."

It's too convenient that Arafat was killed right after Bush re-stoled the election.

There are several theories making the rounds as to how Bush killed Arafat. The first is that he had him implanted with a exploding kaffiyeh (Arafat's religious head covering - looks like a table cloth in an italian restraunt.),,. This would be consistent with how it was when the CIA tried to kill Castro with an exploding cigar, only to miss.

another theory is that they had a special reclining electric chair created which kind of looked like a hospital bed. This theory seems plausible because it is consisstent with the chimps modus operandi , like when he killed all those people in Texas with an electric chair.

But , the most intersting theory I have heard posited is that the CIA, and some friends who shall re main nameless, used secret Israeli mind-control methodologies to make Arafat become homosexual, so that he would have sex with his body guards and contact AIDS , killing him instantaneoulsly.

We shall see just how deep this rabbit hole goes.

27 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you people out of your freakin minds?

10:54 AM  
Blogger iraqwarwrong said...

Again with casting these psychological spursions. Anyone you disagree with is "crazy", is that it? Next you know it's a knock in the middle of the night (3a.m. approx). Is this still American or isn't ?

2:37 PM  
Blogger EvilPundit said...

There you go with your left-wing lies again.

3am isn't the middle of the night, it's about three quarters of teh night. Almost morning, really.

Thank God I am here to fact check the liberal craziness.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG!!! More tanks in the streetes!

9:08 PM  
Blogger Bill said...

why the secrecy around Arafat's cause of death? is it just more "let's mind-fuck the west" middle east drama?

10:34 PM  
Blogger oreza said...

Come on, why does everything have to be Bush's fault? Please, if we are going to find a scapegoat for a sick, old man's death, can't we just stick to blaming the Jews? I mean, it's worked for so many other problems in the past ;-)

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes...yes...it was the jooooos thats right...it's always the jooooos! bwahahahha >insert maniacle laughter and evil hand-rubbing<

12:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU ARE A COMPLETE NUT !!!!

WITH ENEMIES LIKE YOU, IT IS NO WONDER THAT PRESIDENT BUSH WON !!!

KEEP IT UP....................

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YOU ARE A COMPLETE NUT !!!!

WITH ENEMIES LIKE YOU, IT IS NO WONDER THAT PRESIDENT BUSH WON !!!

KEEP IT UP....................

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a suggestion: Each time someone starts talking about how "great" Arafat was, immediately start singing and disco-dancing:

"MACHO, MACHO MAN! I WANT TO BE A MACHO MAN..."

Or sing "YMCA". Not that there's anything wrong with THAT. Honestly.

3:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're all being watched.

4:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The funeral looks nice.
My greatest fear is what will happen to the baby wipes industry?

4:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that Arafat was an important politic man and that Bush can do anything...BUT...why nobody ever thought about Arafat beeing old and just died..That s it!The thing is what is going to happen now...

4:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! ROTFL!!

6:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

texas.....
dear nut! we in texas dont take a likin to yall yankee libs makin fun uf our executins now ya hear. So for punishment we will put extra smog pollutants and blended puppies in the fuel we refine for you this month. Next time we add in blended ninjas, they will coalesce in your tailpipe and reform to attack all who oppose the Texan Imperialistic Empire. Yee-Haw

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy, Anonymous is pissed.

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frank J????? Is that you?????

7:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One correction: We here in Texas gas our murderers. It's brother Jeb that likes to use the ol' electric skillet.

Otherwise everything you wrote was perfectly accurate. Clearly this country is much too dangerous for you. I hear Canada is beautiful this time of year. You should maybe check it out.

7:29 AM  
Blogger Blogesota said...

AIDS is a very unlikely scenario. It's a terrible way to "kill someone instantly" since people (rich people, anyway) can live with it for decades. Besides, the symptoms Arafat had aren't consistent with AIDS.

The most likely scenario is the simplest one. He's old and has been (indisputably) under a great deal of stress. For about 50 years. Cause of death? Oldness.

8:00 AM  
Blogger Droolie said...

To that anonymous from Texas: back off. We don't gas anybody. We execute with "lethal injection". Only the best for our Death Row inmates. Takes 5 to 10 minutes for them to gently go to sleepy time, then expire - only to wake up at the gates of Hell. How ironic could that be?

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TEXAS HERE.
Actually we use lethal injection. but we still got the old electric chair "sparky" on display in the Hunstville Prison Museum. And Woody Harrel's dads prison cane on display too.

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just got back from the phlebotomist. What I miss? Texas, huh? Bo-ring.

Not Frank J.

9:26 AM  
Blogger pappila said...

You're wrong. CIA had nothing to do with it. This morning our swedish-truth-telling-national-neutral-socialdemocratic-runned radio told the swedish people: -Arafat was a bisexual. Allah created him like that. His Highness has a grandmaster plan. Listen, in the fifties Arafat made a lot of money in Q8 as an engineer. He got bored, no women around. So, he rallied up a bunch of handsome young men and equipped them in sexy army garments and he led them to the holy land looking for divine sex. They didn't let him in, too ugly. Since then he has been hanging around trying to get in, sometimes violently. Finally he got the virus. Today he was buried. His former lovers followed him. Quite a bunch.
The grandmasterplan: Well, Allah leaked the story to the newsdesk at the swedish national radio in wich His Holiness has put His divine trust. Tomorrow the whole world will know the truth. So will the palestinian people. PLO will cease to be. Hamas will prevail. The holy land will soon be conquered. Then bin Laden will step forward and pronounce a swift victory for the islamists in the arab-muslim civil war. The third Caliphate will come very soon. CIA would never indulge themselves in such a counter-productive plot.

Sweden calling...

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. you are a legitimate moron. Learn how to write. I too am a liberal and I too dispise Bush but uneducated people like yourself have done FAR more to discredit our cause then to help it. You and your insane conspiracy theories are the reason the U.S. has become so much more conservative. Honestly, your article shows absolutely no understanding of some very basic political concepts. Arafat was sick and died, while the Israeli army attempted to assasinate him several times, they were never sucessful. Why the Hell would George Bush do that? Also Arafat was a encouraged and funded terrorism. If this is what liberals in America now support I can see why George Bush had such an easy time. Before you post something on the internet AT LEAST do a spell check! The only reason I checked this blog is become Andrew Sullivan mocked it on his sight. Please stop posting you are honestly hurting your own cause.

3:43 PM  
Blogger iraqwarwrong said...

Shows how much you know Sullivan's exact word "brilliant " can u reaD?

4:05 PM  
Blogger Pastorius said...

Dear Everybody,

I do so want to apologize to all of you out their who are offended by my spelling. I know that some times it is atrocius (I hope I got that one right) ..

The thing is, I get carried away with my own enthusiasm, when I am wirting , and I lose track of what I am thinking.

Once I am done, writing, I skim everything as well as I can to make sure things are correct.

But, I am sorry, my Spell Checker is broken. I will endevor to, tomorrow , go get a new one. It might take a week or so because I have to call my computer guy and have him come over and in stall it.

Thank you for the enuragement IraqWarWrong. I know you have been through this before.

4:11 PM  
Blogger xstoryx said...

lol!!! :)

6:26 AM  

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