Monday, November 29, 2004

This Is Just Dispicable!

I just recieved this in email, had to clean up the >> >>>>> >>'s (look like it has been forwarded alot - GOOD!) You might want to send this to every one you know to. This is relly getting serious. If this dispatch is ture than WHAT NEXT. I ask.

The following appeared in the Columbus Dispatch on 11/16/04 written by Joe Blundo, a Dispatch columnist.

Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The reelection of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating and organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is simpally harrowing.

Pilloried Hilary

8:14 PM  
Blogger Stan said...

What I heard was that the government of Canada was thinking of making Bush an honorary President of Canada tomorrow, when he visits Canada, in the hopes that would dissuade the liberal hordes from coming too. However, some people are thinking there is more to it than 'honorary'. The gossip going round is that NORAD threatened Canada with not defending Canada if Iceland were to decide to attack, and that was enough for the Prime Minister to step down in favour of Bush. We'll see in the morning.

8:28 PM  
Blogger daisythelamb said...

Stan, This would most certianly mean disaster. If Canada was taken (*figurative* rape by dhingers, don't want to get graphical for sake of Clover) (she very sweet, innocnet) where would we be able to go that was not within arms reach of the Regime? Antartica? (Potential but not very viabal). Papa New Ginea? There is relly no where in the wrold where we are safe EXCEPT for Canada (currently). I am frighten for us all.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Stan said...

I'm afraid your inevitable fate is the draft and the roadside bomb.

10:02 AM  

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